It's still there someplace, I know it is. I just can't seem to find it.
Somewhere beyond my living room, past this block, maybe round the bend and a few miles that-a-ways, Christmas magic still exists. I'm sure of it,
As most of my friends know, I'm a sucker for the holidays. I love Christmas, always have. You can argue "Happy Holidays" vs "Merry Christmas" all the live-long day, but I'm a fan whether you're celebrating the birth of a lord or a jolly fat home intruder creeping down your chimney.
It's simply the best time of the year. It's that one month (or, realistically, two-and-a-half months) when we try our absolute best to forget that people are awful and the world is terrible. For one magical season, we hide it all with twinkly lights, yummy cookies, and a blissful few days where everyone is nice to everyone else for no real reason other than the time of year. What's not to love?
There's just one problem, and it's a grinch named 2020.
Here's a shortlist of the things I most love about the holiday season:
(1) Bundling up in snuggly clothes.
(2) Browsing stores with friends.
(3) Smelling pine and eggnog and sugar cookies and peppermint.
(4) Hearing Mariah Carey and Kelly Clarkson and Brenda Lee belt out Yuletide bangers.
(5) Seeing holiday lights on houses.
(6) Watching the excitement on little kids' faces when they're out and about with their families.
(7) Sitting down on the floor with wrapping paper and scissors and tape and trying not to make a mess.
(8) Pulling into my parents' driveway on Christmas morning.
(9) Opening presents and giving presents.
(10) Being with the people I love.
This year, I don't get any of that. Not one thing.
Instead of snuggly clothes, I'm sitting here in a ratty t-shirt and the same pair of jeans I've had on for three days. I haven't left the house in almost a week. I haven't browsed a single store unless you count websites. The only smells in my house are bleach and maybe a subtle hint of cat pee. I haven't turned on a radio in weeks. Not one house on my block has Christmas decorations out, including mine.
I haven't seen the excited look on any children's faces because I haven't seen any human faces except my own in a mirror. There's nothing to wrap because I did all my shopping online and had it direct shipped. I won't be pulling into my parent's driveway on Christmas Day, won't see anyone as they open gifts, and won't be with anyone I love except some cats that don't get nearly as excited about the holidays as I do.
In a nutshell, Christmas 2020 is the fitting sucky end to the rest of 2020, and the whole thing just makes me want to throw a giant yuletide temper tantrum.
But it's okay. It really is. This, too, shall pass.
If there's a word that best describes Christmas for me, it's HOPE. Christmas is the manifestation of a hope for a better tomorrow. It's simple: if we can be nice and merry and jolly for a few days every year, there's hope that our world isn't quite as terrible as I occasionally make it out to be. Christmastime is my literal hope for humanity.
There's no shortage of hope right now. I've never been happier to think about being poked in the arm with needles, but vaccinations are starting and COVID will soon be just a memory. The election insanity is over and done and no matter your take on the outcome, we're coming out of it regardless. Winter weather seems to be calming the streets and hopefully putting a chill on the pervasive violence and unrest. 2021 must be better than 2020. It nearly has to be. There's hope.
So instead of wallowing in self-pity and abandoning the holidays altogether, let's look for the silver lining. It's there. It might even be made of tinsel.
* Right now, even if you're like me and working from home and forgetting what human contact even feels like, I guarantee that if you turn your TV to the Hallmark Channel right now, someone is falling in love while learning the true meaning of Christmas in a pretend world that doesn't have pandemics or political strife or murder hornets. Take a visit there for a bit; it does the soul some good.
* Last year, I happened into procuring a stone gargoyle, which is awesome because, well, it just is. I have NO idea what to do with it, so it's just been sitting in the corner keeping a watchful eye on my living room. I just put a Santa hat on him, so you can't say that I'm not at least a teeny tiny bit festive.
* I've been waking up to the Today show, and as corny as it is, for the past week they've been focusing on holiday giving, devoting airtime to people and organizations working round the clock through truly risky times to ensure that kids have presents and families have holiday meals. It's good to be reminded that mankind IS innately good, despite all the evidence to the contrary that 2020 wants to throw at us.
* I lied earlier. I just walked past my window and noticed that my neighbor has his Christmas lights up. Maybe they've been up for days and I never noticed. Sheltering in place and working from home shouldn't mean living like your house is a bunker, and I need to remind myself of that. Be safe, but get out and look around. The world is still pretty magical.
* My house may be lonely, but everyone I love is a phone call and a Zoom meeting away. You can still be together yet apart.
2020 has been crushing us for months. Don't let it steal the holidays, too. Sure, it's going to be different. We need to stay distant and we need to stay home. But as long as they still make calendars with December 25th, nothing can take away the joy of Christmas, the magic of the holidays, and the hope of a better tomorrow. Have a safe, warm, and lovely time.
