COLUMN: Cruise

Working at the intersection of two of Davenport's busiest streets, I often get to see interesting things on my way in and out of the office. The one thing I did NOT expect to see, though, was a European cruise liner.

Yep, the QC is officially a tourist destination -- a Swiss company is now offering scenic cruises up and down the Mississippi, with frequent stops at ports along the way -- including the one directly across the street from our office. If you haven't caught the boat in action yet, it is definitely worth gawking at.

I suppose this would be the part where a REAL journalist would tell you interesting facts about the vessel. All I know is that it's honkin' BIG and can fit 386 passengers in its 193 staterooms. Based on the interior photos I've seen and the water-cooler gossip I've overheard from my real journalist pals who got a tour, it's super fancy and luxurious, seemlessly blending Norweigan decor with Mississippi River heritage. From what I've been able to glimpse from our parking lot, it looks to be one seriously pimped-out ride.

This is a wonderful development for our area. It's always fun to show off our neck of the woods to visitors, and every time it docks, buses pull up to take those tourism dollars straight to our best shops and attractions. This is a huge win for the Quad Cities.

I'll be honest, though. When I first learned we were becoming a stop for the Mississippi River's own Love Boat, my first instinct was to laugh and ask, "WHY??"

Don't get me wrong -- I love the Quad Cities. I love our people, our charm, our quirks, and our occasional Skybridges that connect nothing to nothing. But I've never really thought of the Quad Cities as a vacation hotspot. The Quad Cities is HOME. It's where we live and work and raise families and cats. It's what we leave to GO on vacation, not where people COME for vacation, right?

When I daydream about my ideal getaway, I'm driving through the European countryside, soaking up culture and majestic sights (obviously BEFORE I get in a head-on collison because I'd never get the hang of driving on the left side.) But could it be possible there's some European sitting around in the Alps daydreaming about the Quad Cities? "Oh, how I yearn for a breathtaking corn field! Woe is me, for my views of the horizon are constantly blocked by all these ugly mountains and hideous castles! Curses, fresh pasta and fine wine for dinner AGAIN? What I wouldn't give for a loose-meat sandwich and a taco pizza!"

Those people MUST exist, because they pay good money for the Mississippi River cruise experience. Even the smallest stateroom costs a measurable percentage of my annual income, and that's just to cruise from St. Paul to St. Louis -- a trip I could probably drive in a day for under $100. But if there's folks out there with disposable income, there's certainly no better place to dispose of it than here in our local communities. Welcome to the QC, friends.

They're already filling up bookings for next fall. This gives us a full year to make trinkets and souvenirs, people. If I start practicing now, I'm pretty sure I could be whittling some decent miniature butter cows by this time next year. My best friend went on a Carribean cruise a few years back. At every single port of call, he said there was always at least one guy with a trained monkey selling pictures. I'm fresh out of monkeys, but I have a couple cats that are marginally friendly at least 20% of the time. Ooh, wait, how hard is it to leash squirrels?

I kid -- mostly because I'm jealous. That boat looks amazing, and I'd love to waste a week just chilling on the river. It sounds like it's way more than just eating and shopping (even though eating and shopping would suit me just fine.) During the cruise, they give lectures and presentations on the river's history, and there are multiple field trips to farms and businesses to gain some appreciation and learn a thing or two about life along her mighty banks.

That goes for ME, too. I learned we shouldn't ever take the Quad Cities for granted. To you and I, it might be just be home. But watch our hometowns through the eyes of a tourist, oohing and aahing at things we ignore every day. I think nothing of the fact that I commute to work daily across one of the few 360-degree swing-span bridges in existence over one of the most storied rivers in the world. I once got ANNOYED because I had to shoo a bald eagle off the roof of my car. 

Take a lesson from our new cruising friends, step back, and appreciate the wonder of life in the Quad Cities. Who can blame tourists for wanting to come here? It IS, after all, the home of award-winning columnist Shane Brown. And if you ask him nice enough, he might even take a picture with you -- for the right price.