COLUMN: Gen X Crossroads

I need to talk to my fellow Gen-X'ers for a minute.

Never did I think I'd say those words. I've never bought into the stereotypes of the generation gap. The differences are there, I suppose. But I've never considered myself part of the Gen-X club.

I think I stopped maturing in college. I don't care what the calendar, my grey hairs, or my waistline have to say about it. I'm pretty sure my brain still thinks it's 1990, just with WAY worse music and more bills. I still have nightmares that I've overslept for my final exams and haven't studied. There's a good portion of my noggin that steadfastly refuses to believe I'm an adult.

But this week, my age may have caught up to me a little bit. I fear I've entered a Gen-X technological crossroads.

As you may know, for the better part of the past year, our local cable company has been in the world's lamest game of chicken with one of our local TV stations. Contract renewal talks didn't go so well, and as a result, our local ABC affiliate has been "temporarily" dropped from our cable lineup. 

Stand-offs like this aren't uncommon. It's a frequent tactic in contract negotiations between cable companies and affiliate owners. If the two parties hit a brick wall and can't reach an agreement before deadline, the station gets blacked out on the cable line-up. This usually causes immediate public outcry and in short time brings both parties back to the bargaining table until they can hammer out a new deal.

This time, however, I think somebody got lost on the way to the bargaining table. This particular staredown started back in December. I haven't seen a single ABC show yet in 2021, and that's a bummer.

Don't ask me to pick sides, because I won't. Back in January, the owners of our local ABC affiliate claimed the cable company "refused to reach a fair, market-based agreement." Meanwhile, when you call the cable company to complain, you're greeted with a looped recording saying they're "OUTRAGED" by the station "pressuring us to raise the amount of money we collect from hard-working customers like you."

Who's to blame? I have no clue, and I honestly don't care. I just want 'em to put on their big boy pants and hash it out. It's bad enough I willingly hand over a disturbing percentage of my annual income just to watch people play-act on a picture box in my living room. But if I'm going to pay a king's ransom every month, I'd at least like to be able to watch shows like... like... okay, I'm not even sure what's even ON ABC any more, but I bet I could waste some quality time in front of it regardless.

So I decided to take matters into my own hands. We as a society existed for decades without needing cable television. I even have vague memories of what that was like. I needed to go old school. I needed -- rabbit ears.

Here's where I hit the Gen-X crossroads. I feel like our generation may have reached an era where we're too old for new technology, but too young for old technology.

A couple years ago, I got suckered into buying one of those curved flatscreen TVs with 3D capability that was amazing for the two days after I bought it and I'm pretty sure I've never used the 3D mode since. Still, it's a decent TV and has everything I need -- except any kind of obvious plug-in for a set of vintage rabbit ears. And it would be really stupid looking to have this futuristic TV on my wall with a rinky-dink antenna jutting out of it.

Still, I'd put up with a rinky-dink if it meant sticking it to The Man, so the other day, I got up, got dressed, and set off to Radio Shack to buy some rabbit-ears. Until, that is, I realized there are no Radio Shacks left in town. This is sad. Future generations will never know the joy of that stupid yapping robot dog they always had on display, or spending 20 minutes trying to find the right adapters to hook six hi-fi's together in an ill-fated attempt to make a MEGA-STEREO in your friend Mark's basement.

I'm too old for the new school, but too modern for the old school. I don't even know where one buys rabbit ears in a Shack-less society. I ordered a pair online -- and yep, the package got stolen right off the porch. I ordered a second set and had them sent to work, but the doohicky on the end definitely doesn't match the doohicky on the back of my TV. I give up.

So before I get old and feeble and start complaining about the weather making my bones ache: I beg of you, Tegna and Mediacom, sit down and work this out. It's getting old. Until then, I guess I'll have to make do with my other 246 channels and 9 different streaming services. Somehow, some way, I'll figure out a way to perservere. After all, I'm Gen-X -- it's what we do.