In a year when you can barely read the headlines without openly grimacing, I've decided it's best to stop wasting blood pressure spikes on hot-button topics our society will never agree on. Instead, I'm trying to direct my ire needlessly onto mundane pet peeves that drive me into silent fury.
I've got a new favorite gripe.
Is there nothing worse than watching a REALLY great movie and wanting to talk to everyone you know about said movie, except none of those people have SEEN said movie? I saw a flick this week that was super cool, but the only other viewers I know who've seen it are my cats, and they didn't seem quite as impressed.
Well, there's one other person who's seen it -- my best friend. He's the one who recommended I watch it. He enjoys weird esoteric indie films that no one's ever heard of. He's into highbrow black-and-white dramatic think-pieces. That's usually not my kind of movie. Watching a two-hour flick where someone slowly succumbs to alcoholism or discusses philosophy over dinner isn't exactly my idea of entertainment.
I have what you might call "questionable" taste when it comes to movies. I own "From Justin to Kelly" and "Spice World" on DVD. I've sat through every Adam Sandler flick. I can recite full lines of dialogue from "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid." When it comes to cinema, I have little depth.
But my friend told me I would love "The Vast of Night," and he was not wrong.
If you haven't seen it, it's on Amazon Prime and definitely worth a stream. It might be a small-budget indie film, but it's a remarkable directorial debut for filmmaker Andrew Patterson and shoves you head-first into a world you don't want to leave.
That world, specifically, is a small town in 1950's New Mexico. No spoilers, but the whole film happens in real time and involves a late-night radio DJ, a telephone switchboard operator, some amazing cinematography, acting triumphs by a virtually unknown cast -- and maybe a UFO or two.
"The Vast of Night" doesn't just make me yearn to discuss the movie with friends. It makes me want to be in New Mexico -- or at least the New Mexico of the 1950s. And it definitely makes me want to see a UFO, like, right now.
Okay, maybe not RIGHT now. Right now I'm alone in my house. If a UFO came down this very second to say hi, I'd probably pee my pants and have a heart attack. Seeing a UFO by yourself is sheer terror. But if there's one thing movies have taught us, it's that seeing UFOs with friends, especially if you're in a small town, is usually an exciting adventure. That's what I want: a weird light in the sky, maybe a spirited car chase, and a chance to ponder the nature of human existence while staring at the stars with some close friends.
I don't think it's too much to ask for. It's not a stretch to imagine life existing on other planets. The universe is REALLY big. It seems pretty conceited to think we're the only dot in the sky with a tadpole plucky enough to grow legs and step out of the mire. BUT the odds of another planet developing INTELLIGENT life is a tougher pill to swallow, let alone life intelligent enough to develop interstellar space travel.
If there IS life out there, it's probably going to end up being a planet full of angry space cicadas or something. And even if there's intelligent life out there, they're probably only capable of seeing our sun as a dot in the sky like we see theirs. Maybe somewhere out there, there's a cicada monster lying on his back right now (do cicadas have backs?) staring at the night sky wondering if there's life outside Planet Cicadus and fearful the aliens will be fleshy monsters with only 2 arms, 2 legs, and 2 eyes.
I don't think I have the steely constitution it would take to actually meet a sentient alien, and I don't know if I'd ever want to. They're probably not friendly. Remember: there's a big difference between an alien inviting you TO dinner and inviting you FOR dinner. I prefer my aliens to be the weird-light-in-the-sky variety, NOT the sharp-fanged, lay-eggs-in-your-belly variety.
All I know is that it's unfair. I've been on countless moonlit drives in the country on countless gravel roads that would make a SPECTACULAR setting for a close encounter, and the best I've seen are some meteors, a comet or two, and a few lucky glimpes of the International Space Station whizzing overhead at umpteen thousand miles an hour.
So, my alien friends, if you're out there reading this, feel free to do a flyover anytime you fancy. And if you're nice and a vegetarian NOT hungry for my flesh, feel free to stop by. I've got a movie you should TOTALLY check out.
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