Monday, February 13, 2006

"Hmm," Says Shane

Well, I can officially no longer say that I haven't ever received an anonymous proposal of marriage (complete with FLOWERS, no less!)

So, I guess this leaves one question for my Mystery Suitor:



Anonymous said...

To answer your question, darling, I do not cook but have hired a domestic staff looking forward to the day we will be together.

I dream of the day I can reveal myself to you, but some preparations are still unfinished. What sort of cars would you like in your section of our garage? Where shall we travel in our first few months of wedded bliss? What female skills give you the most pleasure?

Please answer, darling, so I can prepare. Until that day, just thank you for being you.

Anonymous said...

That just sounds creepy

Anonymous said...

Dear Shane,

I hope you liked the flowers. I am a bit shy to reveal myself, as I am a bit, well, let me just come out with it and tell you that I'm a bit *hehe* fluffy right now. I am carrying the spawn of Satan and will be delivering in two months time. Do you think you could see past my condition and love me for who I am? I just think you're a really nice guy ... maybe even nice enough to let me scream a little while giving birth? Or let me go to Mass? Is that too much for a girl to ask? I'm so confused. My Dad says it isn't, but my Scientology overlord, erm, FRIEND says it is.

So please accept my gift if you will. All I want is to have a soulmate to brush my long brown hair and tell me all about foreign music. Oh, and please don't worry about the baby. It won't be around much after I pop in April.

KH kissie kissie!

Anonymous said...

It seems like I've become sufficiently addicted to your column to wonder where the hell this week's is. Please post it at your earliest convenience; kthxbye.