Monday, May 09, 2005


You ever have one of those days where you desperately, almost religiously... want to be creative, yet the creative part of your brain just turns to mush?

That's been me today.

I've spent nearly three hours now in front of the computer, waiting for inspiration or brain cells to kick in or what-have-you.

I think there's a part of me that thinks that creativity is a sort of necessary validation to my life... and that validation turns into poo-poo when the ideas just don't flow.

Grand plans are something I'm reeeeeally good at... executing those plans is what I just plain kinda suck at. There's a voice in me that's perpetually saying, "Shane, you need to write the great American novel." "Shane, you should try to write a musical -- that'd be a hoot." "Shane, you should write... ANYTHING, man, what's wrong with you?!"

But I also know better than to force myself to write when ideas are simply not flowing. Sunday's never been a productive day for me. It's simply a battery recharging day, and I've got to learn to treat it as such.

That said, I'm retiring for the evening. I've spent the past couple hours nursing my Katie Holmes / Tom Cruise heartbreak by treating myself to some of the finer episodes of Dawson's Creek Season 1. You know, that Kevin Williamson can write one wicked exchange of dialogue... but the plot points suck just as bad as 90210 or Melrose Place or any of those shows. That said, Dawson's will forever remain my favorite guilty pleasure, make no mistake about it.

Anyways, I'm off. Hopefully inspiration and comedy will return tomorrow. I'm concluding my battery recharging with a few more pages of the new Sarah Vowell, "Assassination Vacation." People, if there's one thing I can EVER influence you on in life, it's that Sarah Vowell is better than no one else at capturing the heartbeat and inherent humor of Americana. I am SO in love with her brain. Treat yourself and go buy the book. Tomorrow, I'll be funny again. Pinky swear.


Anonymous said...

Dear Shane,
I read yesterdays column about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes with great interest. I have recently become a big fan of hers since twice watching "Pieces of April" and loved the movie. I think you have to be over 50 and have had 4 teenagers to raise be fully enjoy that movie. That said, I want to share some of my wisdom about Mr. Cruse. First of all. He has been married to two incredible women. Daahh! I'm sorry I do not remember his first wife's name, but have you ever seen her play Texas Holdem on TV? Wow! Then when he married Nicole! Notice that now-a-days we only call her by her first name? This leads to my point. I think the poor man (I ususally say young man, because at 65, most men are younger than me) seems to NEED to have a woman at his side to keep is stature as the Most Sexy Man. That was an honor,given to him by People Magazine, one I never agreed with. However, I think once these ladies start to outshine him, he drops them. The first wife probably started beating him at cards on a regular basis. What manly man would put up with that? Then Nicole got hot on the big screen. Three movies out to Tom's one! A real No-No! Now, was no longer, TOM CRUISE and his wife, Nicole. It is Tom and Nicole. And soon, at too many movie premieres, Tom came along WITH Nicole. Bet that was a BUMMER to his ego. So,Dhane, take heart. Your soulmate is out there. Someone who will laugh at all your jokes, cut out your columns and proudly put in the family scrapbook, because "I think this one is the best you've ever written!" Tom, poor soul, will just get to be 43, 44, 54, 64!!!! Want to feel better? Look a couple pages past your column on Sunday and look at Mr. Idol at 50! GROSS! Katie will get over Tom when she makes a couple of top QUALITY movies like "Pieces of April." Ten years from now, with three kids, you will have forgotten about Katie. That is called REAL LIFE! And its the best kind of life! Gosh, are you, as a columnist, correcting all my grammar, spelling, punctation errors as you are reading this?That means I had better close!

-shane- said...

Someone who will laugh at all your jokes, cut out your columns and proudly put in the family scrapbook, because "I think this one is the best you've ever written!"

EEK! MY SOULMATE IS MY MOM?!?!?! She's the one who's been clipping out every column and putting it into a scrapbook, so that I can be embarassed at ANY given holiday when she pulls that thing out to show all the relatives while I stutter and stammer about.

And yeah, you're absolutely right about creepy 50-year-old Billy Idol and how he DESPERATELY needs to put his shirt back on. He keeps this up and he'll be Dancing With Himself for the rest of his days ;)